So there was this crazy woman at Mass today. She brought her 2 little girls with her. The older one started out ok, eating her snacks and coloring. Then the baby started fussing so the woman took her out of her carrier and tried to rock her every time she stood and bounce her on her knee when seated. Then the older girl started to act up. There was no one seated immediately in front, behind, or next to the family, much to the mother's relief since both of her children obviously had colds evidenced by the constant wiping of their noses by the poor woman. So with no one near them, the older girl decided to test her boundaries...exploring the pews in front and behind, climbing all over her mother who was still trying to comfort her baby, and asking for more envelopes to put in the offering baskets. And both of the girls decided that their voices should be heard like everyone else's who were singing, although the girls didn't choose to sing at the same time as the rest of the church. I think the final straw for this poor mother was when her oldest daughter stated loudly that "I POOPED" while everyone was so quiet as Father prepared the Eucharist. Not one time, mind you, but making the declaration several times. To add insult to injury, a woman a few pews in front turned to ask if she could help, thinking that a diaper change was necessary. Ahh, but the mother knew better...Anyways, the offering woman, kind as she was, had two little girls of her own, though slightly older I am guessing, and was quite obviously about to have another. This only made the embarassed mother feel worse. And one final twist of the knife, as the family was moving to the end of the pew in order to go receive the Eucharist, the mother stopped the older daughter, telling her she had to wait her turn and let the people in front go first. This is when the little girl dropped very dramatically back into the pew yelling "Father JOE!!!" as if our priest might save her from her horrible mother. So I ask that you please pray, and pray hard, for this poor, crazy woman.
Oh, wait...that's me!