Mass Happenings

Tom is out of town, so we went to the 9am Mass this morning. I guess I have never done that for a Holy Day during the school year before.

- Young gentleman dressed in business attire holds doors for us as we enter church.

- Entered church, thought it wouldn't be all that full today, so we could sit a little further forward than usual so Isabel could see more. Wondered why so many people were sitting so far back.

- Sat a few pews behind nice young gentleman, hoping he would not be annoyed by small children.

- School children start entering church. Realize why so many people were sitting so far back.

- Wonder if we should move. More school children enter. Nice young gentleman moves.

- Start packing up all of our stuff. More school children enter. Start filling our pew.

- We move. Right behind nice young gentleman.

- During homily, Father asks school children questions about Ascension, Pentecost, etc... Isabel does not understand concept of raising hands to answer questions, thinks children are waving hello to Father. Proceeds to wave hello for duration of homily, waiting for Father to respond.

- Giving up, Isabel begins to practice genuflecting in aisle and entering pew.

- Isabel tells me she has "poot." Realizing this is not a scene I want made with school children nearby to distract, we go change diapers. Am actually relieved because correctly suspected Alexis needed new diaper, too.

- Return to pew. Decide Alexis has had to many Puffs. Take them away and give toy. Good for teething, bad for dropping. Loud. Bounces two pews ahead.

- Accept toy back from pew occupant. Embarrassed.

- Give Alexis Mommy's bracelet. She's more interested in sister's bracelet. Contentedly chews on bracelet. Quietly.

- Isabel understands certain words Father says. Repeats them while imitating arm gestures (he's Italian).

- Smell Isabel. Thankful Mass is over.


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Crazy Woman

So there was this crazy woman at Mass today. She brought her 2 little girls with her. The older one started out ok, eating her snacks and coloring. Then the baby started fussing so the woman took her out of her carrier and tried to rock her every time she stood and bounce her on her knee when seated. Then the older girl started to act up. There was no one seated immediately in front, behind, or next to the family, much to the mother's relief since both of her children obviously had colds evidenced by the constant wiping of their noses by the poor woman. So with no one near them, the older girl decided to test her boundaries...exploring the pews in front and behind, climbing all over her mother who was still trying to comfort her baby, and asking for more envelopes to put in the offering baskets. And both of the girls decided that their voices should be heard like everyone else's who were singing, although the girls didn't choose to sing at the same time as the rest of the church. I think the final straw for this poor mother was when her oldest daughter stated loudly that "I POOPED" while everyone was so quiet as Father prepared the Eucharist. Not one time, mind you, but making the declaration several times. To add insult to injury, a woman a few pews in front turned to ask if she could help, thinking that a diaper change was necessary. Ahh, but the mother knew better...Anyways, the offering woman, kind as she was, had two little girls of her own, though slightly older I am guessing, and was quite obviously about to have another. This only made the embarassed mother feel worse. And one final twist of the knife, as the family was moving to the end of the pew in order to go receive the Eucharist, the mother stopped the older daughter, telling her she had to wait her turn and let the people in front go first. This is when the little girl dropped very dramatically back into the pew yelling "Father JOE!!!" as if our priest might save her from her horrible mother. So I ask that you please pray, and pray hard, for this poor, crazy woman.


Oh, wait...that's me!