Please, take a moment...

...to remember in your thoughts and prayers this Christmas, the brave men and women serving our country. And also remember their families who will be without them. Merry Christmas!

"It's Hard to be God"

Last night, as my husband was concentrating very hard on the proper placement of trees and snow in our little village, he suddenly says, "I wonder if God had these issues. It's hard to be God. And to think, He did it all in seven days."

The sun...

...is brighter.

The snow is whiter.

The air is sweeter.

Confession is good.

Spying on my Kids

A couple of years ago, when we were getting ready for Alexis' arrival and transitioning Isabel from the crib to a toddler bed, we started using a video monitor. The house we were living in was old and had some creaky stairs and floors, so we wanted to minimize our trips upstairs to check on where Isabel was in her room with her new ability to leave her bed. Even though it was great, I still felt a little bit guilty, like we had been sucked into the latest gadget trend. (My hubby is a total gadget guy, by the way.) When Alexis was born, we bought a second camera so we could have one on Isabel's bed and one on Alexis' crib. I definitely learned to love the cameras! Not only could we check on the girls, but sometimes I found myself just looking at their angelic faces while they slept. But tonight has topped even that. A couple of weeks ago, we bought a new bed for Alexis and she has actually done pretty well at sleeping through the night in it, with a few exceptions. Tonight, though, despite being tired all day (she took a very short nap) she decided she was not going to go to bed. And for over an hour now, she has joined Isabel in her bed and they are having a little slumber party. Now, there is a part of me that is a little frustrated that they are not asleep in their own beds like they are "supposed" to be. But one of my greatest joys lately, has been watching my daughters play together happily and peacefully. It's as if I can visibly see the love between them. So for now, I will continue to let them have their fun, even if it means I may pay for it tomorrow with tired, cranky kids. And hopefully, I can hold on to this memory years from now, once they become emotional teenagers!

Ummm, not what I was expecting

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Marilyn!

You are a Marilyn -- "I am affectionate and skeptical."

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Be direct and clear
• * Listen to me carefully
• * Don't judge me for my anxiety
• * Work things through with me
• * Reassure me that everything is OK between us
• * Laugh and make jokes with me
• * Gently push me toward new experiences
• * Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• * being committed and faithful to family and friends
• * being responsible and hardworking
• * being compassionate toward others
• * having intellect and wit
• * being a nonconformist
• * confronting danger bravely
• * being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Marilyn

• * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• * being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Marilyns as Children Often

• * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• * form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• * worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at

From Rosetta Stone

Finally!

We finally got our scanner working, so here is the update to this announcement.

In other news, we are all getting over a horrible stomach bug. It hit Isabel out of the blue on Wednesday, Tom Friday morning and Alexis Saturday night. Silly Mommy thought it may just pass her by, but mid-morning yesterday Mommy learned better. Without going into the gory details, it was ugly, but we all seem to be on the mend, just in time for a little road trip tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

If your Thanksgiving plans involve travel, here's a prayer for your safety. And may all of you have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Saying Thank You

Mommy Joy

How sweet it is to open the door to your daughters' room, a little scared as to what they have been doing so long by themselves, to find your 3 year old teaching your 18 month old the Sign of the Cross. Siblings are truly a blessing to each other.

Thinking pink

Apparently the Good Lord feels we need some more practice raising daughters! I'm trying to post the ultrasound picture, but we're having a few technical difficulties getting our scanner on-line after unpacking it. Hopefully, we'll have that fixed soon.

Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween!

First Day

A Great Big Thank You!

The girls and I are safely in Colorado and Tom is back in Boston wrapping things up. I'm not sure how much blogging on this site will get done in the near future, but I just wanted to make sure that I thanked Kristina and her family for such a warm welcome last weekend. It was a pleasant break in our trek across country.

I hope you all have a wonderful Independence Day!




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Blogging Live...

...from Ohio! (Tom has a wireless card for his laptop so I am actually posting this while we are driving. Crazy!) We drove out of our driveway last night and made it through Connecticut and to the NY/PA state line. Today we have driven across the entire state of Pennsylvania and are almost through Ohio. We are stopping over at our friends' house (Isabel's godparents) for the night and then on the road again tomorrow. I'm very excited about tomorrow's leg, because it promises something very exciting! Are you curious? You'll have to check back to see how it goes!

*We are currently driving past what we can only imagine are windmill blades on huge trucks. Very interesting!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Woohoo!

I tell ya...there's something about my girls and Boston.

The World According to My Husband

While watching Alexis eat pancakes for the first time, Tom says,

"I love it when they (the kids) eat the same thing we do. It's a miracle!

Like when they take the trash in the morning."

Oh, and Tom wants me to let you know that he was the one that made the pancakes.


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See Mommy Run

I've been meaning to write about this for a while. Sorry for the delay! A little over two years ago, I was introduced to the website seeMOMMYrun.com through a friend's email. It came at a time that I was desperate for mommy companionship and desperate to get in shape. I think this desperation was key for me, otherwise I may have been too nervous to "put myself out there." Basically, it is a networking tool for mom's who want to run/walk with other moms. When you register (no cost) you select your state and then they show you all of the running/walking groups in that state. I haven't messed around with all of the tools too much, but I think you can look at different groups based on city, pace, distance, etc... The greatest thing though, I think, is that the site is so supportive of running/walking with a stroller. This was key for me! They also send out a newsletter with articles and promotions at some of the sponsors. Again, I have not taken advantage of most of this, although I did use some of the links to research jogging strollers.

The first "group" I found was back in May 2006. I found a nearby town that I knew I could navigate to and signed up. The group only consisted of one other runner, I think. She emailed me back (they don't give out emails or last names, just last initial) and we set up a meeting time at a park. I was very nervous about meeting a "stranger," but the public location and the fact that we both had small children helped me get over it. To make a long story short, I met a great lady with a little boy about 6 months younger than Isabel. She was in much better shape than I was (another obstacle I had to overcome), but she was so supportive and encouraging on our runs. She was interested more in the companionship than a super workout. We met weekly and soon had a third mom and her two kids join us occasionally. We even let our kids play on the nice playground nearby after our runs somedays. We talked about lots of different things that were going on in our lives and shared tips and experiences. It was a great place to vent. I stopped running with her after I found out I was pregnant in August and was so terribly sick. Fortunately, she had found some other women to join her by then. She did end up coming over to my house and walking with me a few times and we had little play-dates with the kids after our walks. She ended up moving that winter because her husband got a new job, but we still keep in touch.

Last summer, after Alexis was born, I looked for a new group to join. I also considered starting my own (an option on the site as well). This time I found a group in my actual town. The funny thing is, the "founder" of the group never got back to me, but I was able to connect with another woman through the group and we just decided to meet on our own. She had twin boys who were in between Isabel and Alexis. We met at the pond I usually walk around near my house which was great for me. Again, it worked out wonderfully. This time though, we walked. I don't think she has an interest in running and Alexis was so small that I knew I wouldn't be running for a few months with her anyway. We kept meeting about once a week, although not a specific day, just whatever we both had open, until the weather turned bad. We started back up again a few months ago, and today we had a great walk with a stop at a playground nearby for the kids to play at. (We hadn't done this before).

The other blessing that came out of this was that both of these women that I randomly met are Catholic. We are all at different "stages" of our faith, but it was great to discuss things and just have that support and understanding that I know I was having a difficult time finding elsewhere. Obviously, it was God providing for me, in a most unexpected place. Needless to say, I have had a great experience with seeMOMMYrun.com. I've already started checking out the groups in Colorado Springs and there are quite a few. We'll see if I have the same good luck!

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Way Too Cute!

H/T to Smithflections

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And God Laughed...

I went to the gym yesterday.


Have you stopped laughing yet?


First, you know it's bad if you go to the gym to "cool off." Our downstairs window a/c is not working and it has been wicked hot (had to get "wicked" in before we move). So that finally motivated me to drive to the base because the gym has air conditioning. Of course, now I'm kicking myself for not going sooner. They have a nice room with a handful of cardio machines and dumbells and a place for your kids to play!!!! It was great because I could watch them while I was on the treadmill. Until a couple of months ago, we belonged to a gym that was closer, but I never felt comfortable leaving my kids at their daycare, which is what I'll use as my excuse for not going ;)

Anyways, back to God laughing. You know, the whole thing about making plans...Well, I went with what I thought was a realistic goal of what I could run. Yeah right! Without going into the gory details, I'll just say it was a sad realization of how out of shape I am. Needless to say, I have reevaluated some of my goals. Well, maybe not my goals so much as the timeline in which to achieve them. But, looking at the brightside, I am just happy I got off my rear end and went to the gym and it was a good experience for everyone involved. Now let's just hope I can find something as great when we move.

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Wordless Wednesday

Breast Cancer Awareness

This is an issue close to my heart as my grandmother passed away from it when I was a senior in high school.

I've been tagged for an important meme by Kristina. This meme is to help spread the awareness on the ‘Breast Cancer Awareness’ month of June. Please help our fellow women in passing on the importance of regular examination and early detection of breast cancer in order to catch this disease when it first erupts, maximizing the chance of survival and recovery.

Here are several facts on breast cancer that everyone should know about.

• The first sign of breast cancer usually shows up on a woman's mammogram before it can be felt or any other symptoms are present.
• Risks for breast cancer include a family history, atypical hyperplasia, delaying pregnancy until after age 30 or never becoming pregnant, early menstruation (before age 12), late menopause (after age 55), current use or use in the last ten years of oral contraceptives, and daily consumption of alcohol.
• Early detection of breast cancer, through monthly breast self-exam and particularly yearly mammography after age 40, offers the best chance for survival.
• Ninety-six percent of women who find and treat breast cancer early will be cancer-free after five years.
• Over eighty percent of breast lumps are not cancerous, but benign such as fibrocystic breast disease.
• You are never too young to develop breast cancer! Breast Self-Exam should begin by the age of twenty. (Ladies, this is important to teach your daughters when they hit puberty. If they get in the habit when they're young, it's much more likely they'll continue as they get older.)

Resources: American Cancer Society National Cancer Institute Komen Foundation. You can help the lives of many women by spreading the word about The Breast Cancer Site pink button as many times as you can. If The Breast Cancer Site receives 8 million clicks on the pink button in June, their premier sponsor -Bare Necessities- will donate $10,000 for more free mammograms. CLICK the pink button today!


I tag Jane, Kate, Kat, Melissa, Barbara, and Margaret Mary. Of course, I would love MANY more to participate. If you do, leave a comment, and THANK YOU in advance.



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The Eyes Have It

After asking Isabel to put down the makeup brush so that she could brush her teeth, she informed me that,

"I can't, Mom. I have to do my eyes."

Before Becoming a Mommy...

...I didn't know that the contents of a diaper could bring joy. (In this case, showing that a little girl's tummy is all better.)

Tips for Moving with Small Children

For months I've been waiting for June to come. I am very ready for this move to happen. But now that June is here, the stress level is skyrocketing. Tom has an appointment today to set up the movers to get our stuff. We're aiming for 3 weeks from now. Ay! And of course, I've lost a weekend. (We're almost 100% recovered, thankfully.) And a new development (more to come on that later) might have us leaving earlier than planned and may even have me driving by myself with the girls before Tom can leave. Sooooo... I'm asking for any advice you may have on moving across country with 2 small children, especially from those of you who have experience. Last time we moved, we didn't have any children, so we only had to take care of ourselves and had each other to keep us entertained. Do you have tips on how much, or little, we need to take with us in the car? Obviously, I'd like to keep things as simple as possible, but I also like to be prepared. The other thing to note is that we will be able to stay with my parents until we figure out housing, so we are not in a rush. This means we may not have our household goods delivered right away. Any tips would be greatly appreciated! I really am trying to be organized about the whole thing. Thanks in advance!!!

It's June...

...and I almost missed it. A nasty bug has done its damage here in our house. It really hit Isabel hard, and then last night, Alexis and I became victims. There was a bath at midnight and a shower at 4am involved. Wonderhubby has been taking care of us. He's doing a great job, although he is not a natural-born nurse. I most appreciate his cleaning efforts. I don't do well in this situation. Tomorrow we're headed to the doctor's office.

Congratulations Class of 2008!

We Remember

In the rising of the sun, and in its going down,
We remember them.

In the blowing of the wind, and in the chill of winter,
We remember them.

In the opening of buds, and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.

In the blueness of the sky, and in the warmth of summer,
We remember them.

In the rustling of leaves, and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them.

In the beginning of the year, and when it ends,
We remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.

When we have joys and we yearn to share,
We remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live
For they are now a part of us
As we remember them.

~ Book of Jewish Prayers

Soundtrack Saturday

It's been a while, but here are the next songs.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances

But they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake

But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart

Leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out

Reconsider

Give the heavens above

More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

"I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack. I love this song simply because it's about dancing. I LOVE to dance. But, obviously more important than that, is it's message. It's about always being in awe of God's creation, no matter how "important" you've become, and to LIVE life, despite the risks. Take a chance. I actually have a very literal example from my life. The summer after I graduated from college, my roommate came home to Minnesota with me before we started our trip to Europe. One of our teammates was getting married. I went to the wedding (gasp!) stag. My roommate's fiance was at training and she was in the wedding, so we were both single. No big deal right? We were having a great time with lots of friends. Until, of course, the "slow songs" played. During one such song, I was sitting by myself at my table (everyone else was coupled up and dancing). A guy came over and asked me to dance. I knew who he was, his girlfriend was a classmate. A nice guy as far as I knew, but the whole thing made me uncomfortable. Not in a "I'm a strong woman, I don't need a man" kind of way, but in a shy, embarrassed, "Please don't feel sorry for me and feel obliged to do this" kind of way. I think I actually said no multiple times, but somehow was dragged on the floor. This is exactly what I DON'T want my girls to do. So what if he felt bad for me? He was being a nice guy. But more importantly, why not dance when some one asks? Life is to be lived and enjoyed! And I hope my girls always take the chance and DANCE!

The second song is "Amazing Grace" by LeAnn rimes. I originally had chosen a version by Charlotte Church, but due to technical difficulties, I went with this version. I love that it's a capella and the song itself, of course, is beautiful. But it's also a "family" song. My dad loves it and when we were little, we'd always get excited if they sang it at Mass. So in addition to sharing the wonderful lyrics, we're sharing a little bit of family history by passing this song on.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now I'm found.

Was blind, but now I see.

'twas grace that taught my heart to feel

And grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

When we've been dead ten thousand years

Bright shining as the sun,

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Then when we first begun.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now I'm found.

Was blind, but now I see.

*Soundtrack Saturday is a (somewhat) recurring series where I share songs that are the soundtrack to my life. Currently, I am sharing songs off a cd I made for my girls.

New Blog

Please go visit the new blog Consecrated Children and show your support and encouragment for Veronica and the pro-life work she is doing.

Do You Know Where Your Husband Is?

It's almost 10 and my better half is out laying mulch.

Did I mention how much I love moving?

Touching Them All

I came across this at Danielle Bean's shared items. Now I need a tissue for a completely different reason.

Tissue Please

"My nose is run tooing."

If you can decipher that, then you can probably figure out the status of things in our house. Yesterday, Alexis woke up with a runny nose that continued through today. Lucky for us, she had her 1 yr. appointment this afternoon. Then when we got home, WHAM! it hit me. Hard. And now Isabel's eyes and nose are running, hence the above statement. Not great timing, but when is it ever, right?

What Generation Do You Belong In?

You Belong in the Silent Generation

You fit in best with people born between 1925 and 1942. You are a person of high values and character. Family, your country, loyalty, and hard work all important to you. You are willing to do what's right, even when it's difficult.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatgenerationdoyoubelonginquiz/">What Generation Do You Belong In?

H/T Jane

"Please Don't Stop the Music"

I know it's not Saturday, but I wanted to talk about music anyways.

I was driving my car a month or so ago, and my passenger saw a cd in the console, I think it was this one about the Mass, and he asked me about it. Then he asked me if I listened to Christian music, too. The discussion went on to cover the "quality" of music. I think he had convinced himself that all Christian music was boring and/or "cheesy." And truth be told, I used to feel the same way sort of. I mean really, there isn't a lot of Christian music on the Top 100 list, now is there? Slowly over time, however, mostly through friends' recommendations, the internet, and every once in a while the mainstream (especially country music), I'm starting to find more songs and artists that I enjoy.

I used to think that it didn't really matter if I listened to specifically Christian music. It didn't mean I was a bad Catholic. I still went to Mass and prayed. But just as I am trying to read more books that strengthen my faith, I've been listening to more music that I hope will do the same. And then the other day, it hit me. I was walking from my car into a store with my daughters and a song started running through my head. "Our God is an awsome God" kept repeating over and over. As I realized this, I smiled. Now my thoughts were on God, even when I hadn't purposely put them there! How AWESOME is that?!?!?!

In case you are wondering, some of my current favorites are...

..."I Saw God Today" by George Strait. How wonderful to be able to look at the little things in life and see God in them.

..."Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. This is probably not a shocker, as it has been pretty popular recently, but it definitely reminds me of Who should be in charge.

..."There's a Life Inside You" by Matthew West. A great pro-life song.

..."Shout to the Lord" from the American Idol Gives Back show. I didn't see the actual show, but I found the song on Itunes. I was excited that this song was given this kind of an outlet and I wanted to show my support. But I also enjoy it and the song reminds me to give it my all when I worship God, to not just whisper (although that's okay too, sometimes) but to SHOUT out my praise.


Of course, if you have any recommendations, I'd love to have them.

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Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Starting your week off with a smile...

He's Home!!!

My brother is home, on U.S. soil, safe and sound. Praise God!


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Reminder

One Million Rosaries for Unborn Babies

May 3rd, 9:00 - 10:00 am (eastern time zone)

Mommy Joy

"Daddy loves me."

"He does?"

"Yeah."

"Does Mommy love you?"

"Yeah."

"Does Alexis love you?"

"Yeah. She gives me lots of kisses."

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Mass Happenings

Tom is out of town, so we went to the 9am Mass this morning. I guess I have never done that for a Holy Day during the school year before.

- Young gentleman dressed in business attire holds doors for us as we enter church.

- Entered church, thought it wouldn't be all that full today, so we could sit a little further forward than usual so Isabel could see more. Wondered why so many people were sitting so far back.

- Sat a few pews behind nice young gentleman, hoping he would not be annoyed by small children.

- School children start entering church. Realize why so many people were sitting so far back.

- Wonder if we should move. More school children enter. Nice young gentleman moves.

- Start packing up all of our stuff. More school children enter. Start filling our pew.

- We move. Right behind nice young gentleman.

- During homily, Father asks school children questions about Ascension, Pentecost, etc... Isabel does not understand concept of raising hands to answer questions, thinks children are waving hello to Father. Proceeds to wave hello for duration of homily, waiting for Father to respond.

- Giving up, Isabel begins to practice genuflecting in aisle and entering pew.

- Isabel tells me she has "poot." Realizing this is not a scene I want made with school children nearby to distract, we go change diapers. Am actually relieved because correctly suspected Alexis needed new diaper, too.

- Return to pew. Decide Alexis has had to many Puffs. Take them away and give toy. Good for teething, bad for dropping. Loud. Bounces two pews ahead.

- Accept toy back from pew occupant. Embarrassed.

- Give Alexis Mommy's bracelet. She's more interested in sister's bracelet. Contentedly chews on bracelet. Quietly.

- Isabel understands certain words Father says. Repeats them while imitating arm gestures (he's Italian).

- Smell Isabel. Thankful Mass is over.


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Irony is

when the daughter you are spending all day trying to get to tell you when she needs to go potty, yells from her bed (when she is supposed to be sleeping) that "Alexis pooped!"

Create Your Own Holy Water Fonts

I found this link over at First Heralds. I think it's such a great idea. I've been looking a little bit at fonts, because I think I want to put them in our new house, and this came along at the perfect time. It's wonderful because I can get Isabel involved. She's pretty aware of the fonts at church, even though some days she doesn't seem as interested.

If you haven't visited First Heralds yet, it's a new blog "helping toddlers and preschoolers learn about the Catholic Faith." They have some wonderful ideas for May. I'm so excited about this blog because I need all of the help I can get.

Soundtrack Saturday

"My Wish" by Rascal Flatts is a great song. I don't know if the song was intended to be used this way, from parents to their children, but I thought the lyrics were so wonderful. Some of my favorites are:

I hope you never look back but you never forget

All the ones who love you and the place you left

I hope you always forgive and you never regret

And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake

And you always give more then you take.

But more than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,

My wish for you

Is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too

Yeah, this, is my wish.

And if thinking about my girls when this song comes on wasn't enough to make me smile, my mom and brother danced to this as his wedding. A great memory!

*Soundtrack Saturday is a (somewhat) recurring series where I share songs that are the soundtrack to my life. Currently, I am sharing songs off a cd I made for my girls.

Flashback Friday

Last week,

my baby

turned ONE!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Things You Should Definitely Do While Trying to Get Your House Ready to Sell

~Have a birthday party
~Have extra people in your house
~Try to lose weight
~Potty train
~Get your Master's Degree
~Wean a baby

Or not.

Wordless Wednesday

The aftermath

Can I Live

H/T Rosetta Stone

Have a Cup For Me

Today is one of those days that I wish I drank coffee. So for those of you who do, please, have another cup for me, and then channel that caffiene rush east. I would greatly appreciate it.

Angels

Angels

When God calls children

~Unknown

to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of his love.
For no heartache compares with
the death of a child
Who does so much to make our world
Seem wonderful & mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold,
So he picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
so He takes but few
To make the land of heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be "Goodbye."
So when a child departs,
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.

God Has a Plan

Two years ago, this week, I found out I was having a miscarriage. Isabel was 9 months old. Of course, it was a very difficult time for Tom and I. What made it especially difficult for us was how quick everything had happened. I had the blood test telling me I was pregnant on Friday. Of course we were ecstatic. We went to a baby fair that weekend (it just happened to be in town). The next week, after I received my referral, I called to make my first appointment and asked about some bleeding that seemed to be getting heavier. Without getting into too many more details, I was sent for some blood tests to get hormone levels the following 2 Fridays. In just over 2 weeks, we went from "Yes, you're pregnant" to "Not anymore." It was horrible. The week after finding out we were pregnant, we sent cute little notes announcing the news to our parents. They got them the first weekend we knew there might be a problem, so obviously when they called to congratulate them, I didn't want to talk and Tom had to tell them what was going on.

I had no idea how to handle any of it. My doctor, as great as I thought she was, was so very clinical about it all. I guess it was, unfortunately, just routine for her. Part of the job. I looked up miscarriages on the net, trying to make sense of it all. I tried to find comfort in the theory that my body was doing what it was supposed to because there was probably something wrong with the baby. Of course, something was still not right in how I was dealing with it. I was bringing my pain to God, but I didn't really know what the pain really was that I was bringing to Him or what I was really asking Him to do.

That year, Easter was in mid-April, so I just tried to surround myself with people to distract myself. My aunt was in town, and we asked some friends over to celebrate the day with us. We didn't tell anybody what had happened. The only people who knew were our parents and the few they might have said something to, and our best friends. I, to this day, still don't know who knows. I guess a lot more now, after reading this :) Of course, not telling people made it difficult when people would announce their pregancies. When one couple told us about their baby, about a month later I think, I was crushed because I was hurting and also because I wanted to be happier for them. They had no idea though, what we were going through. I thought this was the best way to deal with it. And our best friends ended up waiting a long time to tell us they were expecting again. And for whatever complicated emotional reasoning, I think I was more upset they waited so long to tell us. But I understood. Obviously, I was not handling the pain very well.

It didn't take too long until I was pregnant again. Of course, we were nervous. But as you know, that pregnancy went well and 9 months later, Alexis was born. The same week, 1 year later, that I found out that I had lost my baby. Isn't God amazing?!?!?! We were so full of joy with our new little girl, we didn't have time to dwell on the pain of the sorrowful anniversary. A few months ago, this all dawned on me. I still can't believe it sometimes. It is just another example that God knows what He is doing, even if we don't or can't understand it.

So how am I doing with our loss these days? Much better. Last summer/fall, I reconnected with an old friend. She is a saintly woman who God brought back into my life at the perfect time, of course. She recommended that I read Kimerly Hahn's book Life-Giving Love. This book changed EVERYTHING! It helped me get my head wrapped around what had really happened to my baby. Part of why dealing with the loss of my baby was so difficult is because I didn't know what I should be feeling. Surely, I couldn't be as devastated as parents who had lost their baby in their last trimester, could I? But between the book and my new (old) friend, I began to realize that a baby is a baby no matter if it's 1 week along or 40 weeks along. I was valid in feeling what I was feeling. It all made sense now. I would say I have always been pro-life, but I had never really been put in a situation where it mattered. Now my eyes were opened to what being "Pro-life" really meant.

I'm starting to get frustrated with my lack of properly writing what is in my heart to say here, but I hope I've made a glimmer of sense. I've been waiting a few months to write this post, and I think, if anything, just writing it has helped me. For those of you who made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my words, as clumsy as they may be.

And maybe, you could take a moment to say a prayer for my baby who is no longer with us.

God bless you!

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This One...

...will be one. Soon.

Lift With Your Knees, Not With Your Back

Can you guess what I did today?

Tom and I spent all day moving "clutter" out of our house and into storage so our house will "show better" and we can sell it. The girls are still in Colorado, so Tom and I are trying to get as much done as we can. We have tile laying and painting (2 rooms) on the agenda for tomorrow. Tom has busted his you-know-what while I was gone, painting 3 other rooms and finishing some other projects (did I mention removing wallpaper was involved?). So right now, my body is feeling the wear of the day. How many books do we have anyway? Good news, it was probably the best workout I have had in a long time. Bad news, it was probably the best workout I have had in a long time. I desperately need to get back into some kind of shape besides blob. But that's for another post. To add a cherry on top of the fatigue sundae, when I mentioned to Tom that I may not be able to move tomorrow when I wake up, he told me that "Pain is weakness leaving the body." He used my own saying against me!!! I couldn't believe it! I love that saying. It has gotten me through many a workout and training session. I have even used it to "motivate" underclassmen when I was at school. So anyway, we're off to bed to rest our weary bones (and muscles) so we can get up bright and early and start again. Did I mention how much fun moving is?

Good night and God bless!

Soundtrack Saturday

A few weeks ago, I posted about Martina McBride's song "Blessed." Well, as I feared, it was out of order, but this week's song really is one of hers. (I told you I loved her. I always find so much meaning in her songs.) This week's is "In My Daughter's Eyes." The first two lines "In my daughter's eyes I am a hero I am strong and wise and I know no fear" reflect my hopes of being a good mom. But the rest of the song talks about how it's actually the daughter who has the wisdom and saves the mom.

But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see

how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

We Will Never Forget

On Tuesday, MA2 Michael Monsoor was posthumously awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for his heroic actions which saved the lives of his teammates. During the presentation, President Bush said, "Mr. and Mrs. Monsoor, America owes you a debt that can never be repaid. This nation will always cherish the memory of your son. We will not let his life go in vain. And this nation will always honor the sacrifice he made. May God comfort you. May God bless America."

I first found this at Words from Warriors and then saw it again on my daily CNA email where they had a nice article. You can also read more about him here.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.

Bad day...

...need prayers.


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Soundtrack Saturday

God Bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home.

What can I say about this song, except that I hope and pray that my daughters will grow up knowing how blessed they are to live in this country and that they never take her beauty, grandeur, or blessings for granted.

I Just Don't Understand

I got this from Words from Warriors. This is obviously supposed to be funny, but it also makes me very sad. How do these people not understand what our service men and women are doing? How does Code Pink not understand that without our military, who will defend our freedom to prance around in pink feather boas, saying whatever we want to, whether it's true or not? I don't hold it against any one for being anti-war. No decent human being would want war. But life isn't always about what we want, is it? Sometimes things get in the way, pesky little things like human rights.

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is far worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so my the exertions of better men than himself.

~John Stuart Mill

I'm not about to debate on whether or not we should have gone to war. I have had far more military training than the average American, and that decision, and the intelligence behind it, is way above my pay grade and knowledge level. I will say, on the chance that I might actually share a personal opinion, that it is foolish for anyone to think that immediately withdrawing our troops is a good idea. Whether or not going to war was not the right thing to do, we still have to finish what was started and do it right. I want this war over just as much as anyone. I can't count how many friends and relatives that have been in harm's way. My brother is currently deployed and it looks like my husband might be headed that way in the next year. But you know what, like the clip said, it is a volunteer military and these honorable men and women VOLUNTEERED to put their lives on the line to protect the freedoms that all Americans hold dear. All I can do is pray harder that the Code Pinks of the world figure this out some day.

God bless our troops!

God bless America!

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Soundtrack Saturday

So it is still technically Saturday, especially since I'm in another time zone right now. My girls and I traveled home with my parents. I'm doing a little house hunting and hopefully, a little relaxing, before I go back (without the girls) to hit the house hard. And then my parents will bring the girls back a week later in time for Alexis' birthday. We (I should say my dad, with a little help from the rest of us) got a lot accomplished when we were all in Boston. I'll post pictures, but that will have to wait until I get home. Same with pictures of the girls from Easter. I must say, in my most unbiased, objective opinion, that the girls were pretty darn adorable! I hope you all had a wonderful Easter and that the joy of the season is overflowing in your hearts and homes.

As for today's song, my iPod has died and I don't have the list of songs on the cd with me to know which one is next, so I'm just going to pick one I know I haven't shared yet, "Blessed" by Martina McBride. I love her! This song just reminds me of the gifts I have in life and that I don't need to look any further than the members of my family to know how blessed I truly am.

I have been blessed

And I feel like I’ve found my way

I thank God for all I’ve been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones

That love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

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Alleluia!

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Soooo funny!

You must go check out Faithful Web and the March Madness Grid for Churchgoers. It is hilarious!!!

I found it at the Catholic Carnival. Check that out, too!


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Busy, Busy, Busy

Last week, Jane asked what was going on in these pictures. For those of you don't know, we're moving this summer. That means we have to sell our house. So now we are in a mad dash to make it look buyable. (See Cris' post.) The pictures were of our dining room. We ripped down the wallpaper that we didn't do such a good job of putting up 4 years ago. My parents are flying in tomorrow to help with some other major jobs. Hopefully, this will all work out. I'll try to get some pictures to post, but I don't know how much blogging I'll be doing. If you have a free moment, a prayer or two that all projects go well (and that we sell our house fast) wouldn't hurt.

Oh, if you have any tips, on selling a house, or moving with small children, they would be greatly appreciated.

God bless!


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Soundtrack Saturday

I thought I would speed things up a little and share the next 2 songs off the girls' cd. Besides, I may not get to post next week.

The next song is "Daughters" by John Mayer. It's not the song with the most meaning on the cd, but it's more of a cultural song as it was fairly popular when I first thought of making a cd like this. It reminds us of the circle of life and how important our example as parents is.

"Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too"

The second song today is "Let There Be Peace on Earth." I chose this version because 1) I had it already and 2) I thought it was appropriate because Vince Gill sings with his daughter. The first time this song really moved me was at my grandfather's funeral. It's been a favorite ever since. I pray that my husband and I can teach the message to our daughters through the example of how we live our life.

"Let there be peace on earth,
and let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on Earth,
the peace that was meant to be.


With God as our Father,
brothers all are we,
Let me walk with my brother,
in perfect harmony.


Let peace begin with me,
let this be the moment now.
With every step I take,
let this be my solemn vow,


To take each moment and live each moment
in peace, eternally.
Let there be Peace on Earth,
and let it begin with me."

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Love Me When I'm Gone

I love to listen to this song while I'm running. Back when I was still serving, it used to motivate me to run harder, because if the only thing I could do at that moment to help those who were deployed while I was not was to run harder and become better, then that was what I was going to do.

For those of you who think you are struggling with what you have chosen to give up for Lent, please take a moment to pray for those who are giving up much more right now, time with their loved ones, in order to serve their country.

God bless our troops!

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Kids and Smoke Alarms

We've had our smoke detectors go off for various reasons and our kids did not wake up. Now I see that it is not just our kids. Thanks to Christine for sharing this.

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So Strange...

It's just after 10 and I'm in bed. And it's quiet.

How does that work, you ask? Well, the baby is sleeping and Tom and Isabel aren't here.

They're gone.

They flew to Texas this afternoon. Tom has a class over the weekend and he took Isabel with him, partly to give me a little break, and partly so that his family could see her. His family only lives about 2 hours away, so various members will be driving to see them throughout the weekend. Tom's mom and grandma will be with Isabel the whole time while Tom is in class. So it works out for everybody.

After Alexis and I dropped them off at the airport, we ran to the grocery store. Then we came home, ate lunch and napped. (I took a teeny, tiny one.) This all seemed pretty normal. But then Alexis woke up. It all started feeling a little strange. Having only one child. And I think Alexis missed Isabel. She played differently. She wasn't as content without me. Maybe she was just having an off day. When the magic hour rolled around that I normally am so anxious for Tom to get home, I knew he wouldn't be coming home. Dinner was kind of flat. Alexis is cute and all, but not much of a conversationalist. I put her to bed early because she didn't get all of her normal naps in today and she has been sleeping in with the time change. Then I took the trash out for pick up tomorrow (a small "adventure" since I don't usually do it) and then I packed a care package for my brother.

I've been looking forward to the quiet all week, but it was strange. Tom has taken Isabel on a trip like this before, but I was pregnant at the time and very sick. I used the time to rest, relax and regain some energy from all of the throwing up I had been doing. So today was very different. Although I am grateful to have a break from a two year-old's constant questioning, there is a definite buzz of family life that I am already missing. Who would have thought that it would happen so fast?

I have lots of things I need to accomplish while they are gone and hopefully, Alexis will cooperate.

Oh, and husbands...when you go away and take our firstborns with you, it would be appreciated if you would call as soon as you landed and not make us hunt you down to make sure everything is okay. Just a thought.

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One Million Rosaries for Unborn Babies

"The ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event is scheduled to happen on Saturday, May 3rd, 2008. The intention for this Rosary will be: For an end to the surgical and non-surgical killing of unborn babies. On the day of the prayer event, it is hoped at least one million people in the U.S.A. will be praying the Rosary within the same sixty minute time span."

Click here for more info and to register.

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Thanks to Jean at Catholic Fire.

The World According to my Husband

"And to think, I was excited that you'd be talking."

Tom after being home for a half hour with our "talkative" daughter.



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Wordless Wednesday

Soundtrack Saturday

Song #3 on my girls' playlist is "When You Wish Upon a Star." There really isn't much of a backstory here. Both my husband's family and mine have had Disney play a major part in our lives, for various reasons, and I thought it would be nice to include that in the list. I hope that my girls grow up knowing that they can dream as big as they want.

"If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do"

They are Sisters, Not Clones

So I have 2 daughters. Isabel. Alexis. Born almost 22 months apart. They are not twins. They were not some scientific cloning experiment. So why has it taken me 10 months to figure out that they. are. DIFFERENT?!?!?!?!

Pregnancy: Isabel - surprise; Alexis - not really
Nausea: I - hardly threw up; A - threw up the whole pregnancy, including in the delivery room
Nursing: I - initial challenge in hospital, at home, no problems; A - latched on immediately, got home, Pain, lots of Pain
Size: I - could nickname her Twiggy; A - did nickname her Buddha
Hair: I- blonde and straight; A - brunette and curly
Personality: I - non-stop energy; A - thoughtful observer
Crawling: I - practically skipped it; A - very happy with ability to crawl anywhere, through anything
Walking: I - 9 1/2 months; A - not yet
Weaning: I - cooperated with Mommy's very strategic plan at 1 year;
A - had her own plan at 10 months

*Note: I started writing this 2 weeks ago and am just getting around to posting it now.

Now Hear This

• Concerning...
  


• Amazing! (Some of you may want to grab some tissue.)

Put on your best Snorkelface...

...and head over to Simcha's for her great post on "Growing."

Wordless Wednesday

"What do you think, Mommy? Are the shoes too much?"

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Baby Steps

I got dressed to go to the gym.


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On My Mind

"Don't daydream about the milk and honey, just enjoy His manna."

~From Jennifer Rothschild's bible study Walking By Faith

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Uncle Sam has spoken...

...and it's off to God's country for us!!! Yes, that's right...DENVER, COLORADO!!! Purple mountains majesty, the Broncos, my parents...the sun is shining a little brighter in our house these days (even at 10:30 at night). We are VERY excited, to say the least. And since I couldn't get a proper version of "Miracle" to play in the sidebar, we have an extra special edition of Soundtrack Saturday! (Never mind...I found a new way to play music over at A Wink and A Smile! so now you can hear both!)





Oh, and since we are taking the lucky charms with us, maybe the Rockies will win the World Series this year!


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Soundtrack Saturday

You're my life's one Miracle,
Everything I've done that's good
And you break my heart with tenderness,
And I confess it's true
I never knew a love like this till you....

You're the reason I was born
Now I finally know for sure
And I'm overwhelmed with happiness
So blessed to hold you close
The one that I love most
With all the future has so much for you in store
Who could ever love you more?

The nearest thing to heaven,
You're my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect looooove

When you smile at me, I cry
And to save your life I'll die
With a romance that is pure heart,
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires,
I live for your desires
Forget my own, needs will come before
Who could ever love you more?

Well there is nothing you could ever do,
To make me stop, loving you
And every breath I take,
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure
Who could ever love you more?

When I was still in my first trimester with Isabel, my mother-in-law sent me Celine Dion's cd called Miracle, the same title as this song. If you haven't heard it, it's a cd of lullabyes. It's beautiful. I used to sit in the new gliding chair we bought for the nursery and hold my belly and listen to it, wondering about the new life inside me. This was definitely the song that touched me the most. Our children certainly are MIRACLES from God.

Freedom Friday

This song touches me right at my very core.



I came across this at Against All Heresies.

Question...

What have you done for your marriage today?



H/T to Kelly.

Before Becoming A Mommy...

...I didn't realize that no matter how many diapers I change, it would ALWAYS be a crappy job!

What Color Sharpie?

What Color Sharpie Are You? (25 Different Colors) Updated Again!

Purple Sharpie
Element: Water
Sense: Sight
Gemstone: Amethyst
Some Qualities: Wisdom, Bravery, Visionary
Fact: Amethyst is considered as an aid to the brave because it was believed to protect soldiers in battle.
Take this quiz!








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From Jane, Barb, and Sarah.

Meme

Jane tagged me!

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

A - Assignment. We are currently waiting to see where Uncle Sam is sending us next.
N - New Mexico. Where I was born.
N - North Dakota. One of the 5 states I have not been to.
E - Eagle. My high school mascot.

Tagging Kristina, Melissa, Kate, and Abigail.

Soundtrack Saturday

"Music is what feelings sound like." -Unknown

Last summer, we had what is affectionately (or maybe not) remembered as "party weekend." In order to make it easy for all of our out-of-town family, which is everyone, we celebrated Isabel's birthday on Saturday and baptized Alexis on Sunday. (We also celebrated my aunt/godmother's birthday Friday evening and another birthday on Sunday evening.) Inspired by the occasion, I put together a cd of songs that made me think of my girls. (I had actually started a similar cd for Isabel's baptism, but had technical difficulties.) These songs (my husband picked a few as well) make us think of how our girls make us feel, what we want for them, and who we want to be for them. So as a new series here, I am going to post about this list of songs that is so dear to my heart every Saturday. You can also play the song from my sidebar. And after I'm done with this list, I'll move on to another. I love music, although I am no expert, and I just love how there are those perfect songs out there to fit every mood, memory, and occasion. I hope you enjoy!

The first song on the girls' cd is Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World." There is actually much history to this song for my daughter Isabel. We moved to Boston at the beginning of June 04. We busted our rear ends on taking wallpaper down and painting our "new" house (the house is actually very old.) All of a sudden, the 4th of July sneaks up on us and we decided we needed a break and should enjoy the holiday. We were in the home of Paul Revere and the Old North Church, a certain Tea Party, and the Freedom Trail, just to name a few. Surely, they did something to celebrate Independence Day. And boy do they ever. Long story short, we went down to the Charles River to watch their AMAZINGLY SPECTACULAR fireworks show (really, I don't know if anything could top it) and had such a great time.

How does this tie in with the song, you ask? Well, music is synced to the fireworks show and that night they played Mr. Armstrong's song and it brought me to tears (of joy). That's how magical the night was and that was a great "welcoming" memory. We would find out a few months later that I was pregnant with Isabel (we were starting to wonder if she would ever show up, but God's timing is always PERFECT). I listened to this song a lot while I was pregnant. It just matched how I felt. Almost a year later, Isabel was born.

The fall after she was born was a sad one. Tom's grandfather was sick with cancer and was in and out of the hospital. We had visited once while I was pregnant and there just this feeling that he was going to see his first great-grandbaby. The October after Isabel was born, we went back to celebrate Tom's parents anniversary and Isabel got to meet her great-grandfather! He was in the hospital at the time. In his room, he had a stuffed frog that Tom's mom had given her dad. It played "What a Wonderful World" and had been making him smile even when he couldn't talk. He played it over and over. We returned to Texas a few weeks later to attend his funeral and there on the table with pictures and other mementos was the frog.

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow

They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Flashback Friday

Who couldn't use an extra smile on a day like today? (I LOVE this picture!)

Looking on the Bright Side

The Benefits of Rejection

~I can have more than 1 glass of wine
~I can wear a real bra
~The hubby can feed the child in the middle of the night
~PEANUT BUTTER
~I can have more than 1 glass of wine
~No more biting
~Lowers the cost per use of the "just in case" bottles
~End of strategic planning involved with wardrobe choices
~Can hang up the cow bell
~I can have more than 1 glass of wine!

This Says It All...

Thanks Sarah!

From My Journal

My daughter found an old journal of mine from college and I'm going to throw it away. I'm not a great journaler to begin with and it's only half full and that covers 4 years! There is a lot of depressing stuff in there and who needs to be reminded of the bad stuff. But before I do trash it, I wanted to share some of the quotes and positive things I collected, so these will be posted here sporadically over time. I love this first one, although I didn't write down where I got it.

Who's Job Is It?
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Happy St. Valentine's Day

Things are not all flowers and candy around here today. It's been kind of a rough week. Tom is super busy with work and his master's class, the girls and I have been fighting these darn colds, we've started potty training (not MY idea of a good time), and we're having some feeding issues with Alexis which is difficult by itself, but it also has brought with it some sleep shortages. So basically I'm just trying to survive the lack of sleep, the gloomy weather, and the neverending "Why?" from a 2 year old. So I apologize for not having something cute and love-inspired posted today. I especially feel bad that I have not put something wonderful to my husband here like so many of you have. I would like to say thank you to those women though, for reminding us how important it is to show our men that we appreciate them.

To end on a higher note, I will mention a couple of rays of light that have broken through my cloudy week. Yesterday afternoon, as I was about to hit my limit, I started to put a cd on for Isabel and she asked with a smile, "Jesus?" I said yes and she then sang along (better than I expected) with "Jesus Loves Me." It touched my soul. I didn't know she knew the song that well. And last week, when I was not-so-happy about waking up in the wee hours to nurse Alexis, halfway through the feeding she said "MA-MA." Needless to say, all of my annoyance was gone and my heart was smiling!

Oh, and Tom, I LOVE YOU!